77. Practical Tips for Letting Go of Worry While Pregnant

Are you looking for ways to let go of worry and enjoy your pregnancy with confidence and peace of mind?

In this episode, we will cover:

• The practical strategies for managing anxiety and embracing a calm, trusting mindset during pregnancy.
• Why personalized midwifery care supports emotional well-being alongside physical health.
• How trusting the birth process can help you release fears and focus on a confident pregnancy journey...
• … and a whole lot more!

If you’re ready to let go of worry and enjoy a confident, peaceful pregnancy, then this episode is for you!

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👋 WHO AM I?

Welcome, friends! I am Beth, a certified nurse midwife, doula, and childbirth educator. My philosophy is rooted in autonomy, informed decision making, and positive mindset to help expecting parents plan for a beautiful, stress-free birth. I am here to provide value to YOU through tips and practical advice, either to guide you through pregnancy or to help you prepare for childbirth, postpartum and beyond. There’s no fluff here - only info that adds to your positive experience and saves you stress and uncertainty.

Transcript

Welcome to episode 77 of Your Birth Bestie podcast. Today we’re going to talk about a topic that so many expecting parents struggle with, and that is worry. I don't think it is very common for an expecting family to not have some degree of worry, whether that's in the early weeks, when you get over that halfway mark of the anatomy scan, or as you get closer to meeting your baby. If you are a worrier, which I know I am guilty of as well, I promise you're not alone.

Pregnancy is such an incredible thing to experience, but it’s also full of unknowns. It can be the constant concern if your baby is okay? Questioning about what if something goes wrong? Wondering if you're prepared enough? And the list can just go on and on. I know I've spiraled before, and that's why it's important to acknowledge how you're feeling and find ways to calm those worries. If you’ve found yourself caught in a cycle of “what-ifs,” I'm glad you're here because today, we’re going to talk about practical ways to manage worry so you can focus on the excitement and joy of pregnancy, rather than only focusing on the worry and stressing yourself out.

So first, I want to acknowledge that worry is completely normal during pregnancy. You’re growing a tiny human, and of course, you care so much about their well-being! But when worry starts to feel overwhelming or takes away from your ability to enjoy this time, that’s when we need to find ways to shift our mindset.

And to kind of demonstrate my own experience of worry and being anxious, especially for me in the first trimester. I want to talk briefly about the risks of miscarriage, specifically regarding a miscarriage calculator I found online. 

So with my first pregnancy, everything was new, I had never been pregnant before and I knew there was a chance of miscarriage right? It's about 1 in 4, which is a pretty high number when you're considering the odds, so that fear was in my mind. When I found this Miscarriage Odds Reassurer website I seriously would check it multiple times per day, and looking back, it seems ridiculous, but I needed to follow the numbers for some reason. 

It would basically just give me reassuring statistics about the chances of having a healthy pregnancy or how much my miscarriage risk went down from the day or week before. And then around 12 weeks is when the chances statistically of having a miscarriage dramatically decrease to about 1-2%. But of course I worried for weeks, and then even when I got to 12 weeks, I had to think of the next thing to worry about... which was the anatomy ultrasound at 20 weeks. Was that going to all look good? And then when I got to 20 weeks I would find another thing to worry about. Viabilty was at 25ish weeks and getting past that point. And then as I got closer to being full-term I would be thinking about what birth would be like. Of course never even considering having a newborn and postpatrum transitions, but that is a whole new set of worries and unknown fears too.

And I know I'm not alone in feeling this way, but I also want to reassure you that it doesn't have to consume your mind. There is a mindset shift that must happen in order for you to actually enjoy pregnancy and prepare for birth feeling informed and not in a constant state of fear. 

That doesn't mean in my second and third pregnancies I didn't have moments of fear, I definitely would think of the "what ifs", but it did not consume my mind. And I don't want your fears to sabatoge your pregnancy or birth either, so I hope you find this episode helpful!

So let's talk about some of the common worries I hear often...

Fear of emergencies in pregnancy or birth complications or a long list of “what-ifs”. Because we can't plan and know exactly how your experience will unfold and that can leave parents feeling uneasy. Especially for those of you who like to plan and have everything lined up hoping things will go a certain way... we can hope and plan, but we can never know for sure. And that's why having a good support team and reframing some of these concerns to not be super stressful and consume your mind is really helpful.

I also hear often the superstition that worrying is a way to “prevent” bad things from happening. Like if you are prepared for all the bad stuff or you think about the opposite birth experience you want, it won't happen. Just like the people that say not to make a birth plan because then nothing will happen like you want it to, which I 100% don't agree with. A birth plan isn't a chronological plan of what we can control will happen, it is a list of preferences that we try our best to honor in your experience and it's an exercise basically to make sure the parents are informed and also the birth team is aware of these preferences to support them the best they can.

When you have constant thoughts of worry, it can be exhausting. But the good news is, that there are simple, effective ways to ease anxiety and bring more peace into your pregnancy. So I wanted to share a few tips about this next.

Tip #1 is to educate yourself without overloading your brain with informaiton that could cause increased stress. I believe that knowledge is powerful—but too much information can lead to information overload.

I’ve worked with moms who spent hours down internet rabbit holes, only to come away feeling more anxious and confused. The key is to be intentional about where you get your information.

Stick to a few trusted sources—like your midwife, a prenatal class, or evidence-based books. I love sharing evidence-based information with families in an unbiased way, so if you're looking for more support or a birth class, I can definitely help with that! My 8-week online pregnancy coaching program includes access to my comprehensive birth course and is great for addressing all of your questions and providing information on all the decisions you have to make as you plan for birth! 

I would advise you to avoid fear-based forums or excessive Googling—because these often do more harm than good. I always joke about the fact that you can basically google a question you have in a way that the results will be what you want them to be. Which isn't helpful. For example, do babies need the vitamin K shot? You'll get polarizing opposite views about it being 100% safe and necessary and you should trust the science and other sources saying it's absolutely not needed and is poison and if you give it to your baby you are harming them. These places are not the place to get information. You need unbiased sources that will give you the information to make the best decision for yourself, because those people's minds are already made up in favor of one.

Also, focus on what applies to your situation. Not every scary birth story or rare complication is relevant to you. This is why personalized care is so important! You can always find something to worry about if you look for it, but you will drive yourself crazy and won't find time to enjoy your pregnancy worry free if you do this.

So remember that consuming too much information from unreliable sources can cause worry as you come across conflicting or overwhelming advice. So just avoid it all together and bring questions to your prenatal visits or join our coaching program and we can dive into all of those questions without the stress!

My second tip is to focus on what you can control.

There are so many unknowns in pregnancy, and it’s easy to fixate on the “what-ifs.” But instead of stressing about things you can’t control, try redirecting your energy toward what you can control.

Things like prioritizing self-care. Stay hydrated, eat nourishing foods, move your body, and rest. 

Create a birth plan that is not a rigid checklist, but a way to explore your preferences and options. Like I said it's more of a tool or exercise in your pregnancy and birth journey, not a list of things that have to happen a certain way to have a good birth.

Also, prepare mentally. Practice relaxation techniques, affirmations, or visualization. Find somethind that you enjoy doing to calm your nervous system down daily. These small, consistent things on a daily basis can help you feel more in control of your pregnancy.

Logically I'm sure you can reason with the idea that it doesn't help dwelling on uncertainties or outcomes that you can’t change. Your stress can increase which impacts both your emotional and physical well-being. It makes sense, but it is easier said than done. With the right practice and support though and changing your mindset around pregnancy and birth and focusing only on what you can control, I hope this mindset shift will help. If you're starting to worry about something that you can't change, if you can't let go if it, then maybe explore more about the fear. What are the chances of this scary thing happenign? What plans are in place if this does happen? Who can you count on to support you? Having a plan can help make the unknowns feel more manageable too if you've talked them out with someone.

Tip #3 is Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude

Mindfulness is a game-changer when it comes to reducing pregnancy worry. Staying in the present helps you avoid thinking about past fears or future uncertainties.

 ry guided meditation or breathing exercises. Apps like Headspace or Insight Timer can be great tools.

Keep a gratitude journal. Write down one thing each day that you love about your pregnancy or that you are looking forward to. Positive thinking is huge when you're trying to overcome stress or reframe a situation you might be worried about. You'll usually find there are more things to be greatful for or more positive experiences that will outweigh some of the other thoughts you might be having.

Use grounding techniques—if you feel anxiety is starting, pause, take a deep breath, and focus on the now. Staying present and only thinking about what is happening now, what you are feeling, what you are seeing, what you are hearing, smelling... it can break the cycle of that fear and make your body feel safe again and not in that fight or flight mode where you can easily spiral to the worst case scenario.

For example, early in pregnancy you might feel super nauseas one day and feel really pregnant, but then the next day all symptoms seem to disappear. This can of course be confusing as to what is changing, why is it happening, is my baby growing okay, how will I know everything is okay... and again the outcome isn't something that you can control in that moment. You can't have certain reassurance without an ultrasound that everything is perfectly normal, but you also don't have enough evidence that something is terribly wrong by just having a brief moment of a disappearing pregnancy symptom. But then you might go the whole day worrying, instead of enjoying a break in feeling awful. So then when the next day you're super sick and nauseas and can't eat anything, you somehow don't feel as anxious about the pregnancy, but you feel really terrible. I know this happened to me in my pregnancy, and it's easy to worry, but using some of the techniques mentioned can hopefully help in situations like this to not feel completely down about it.

So the takeaway from this tip is to not let your mind spiral into worst-case scenarios without practicing grounding techniques. Your anxiety can escalate so much and can take away from the joy of pregnancy. And I don't want that for you and I know you don't want to feel that way either!

And my last tip is to build a supportive network! You don’t have to handle any worries about pregnancy or birth alone and surrounding yourself with supportive people can make a huge difference.

My recommendation is to join a prenatal group or connect with other expecting moms going through similar things.

Talk openly with your parnter, care provider, or a friend about what is going through your mind and what you're feeling. A lot of times when we voice our concerns and worries, we can work through them better and it feels good someone else can hold that space for you too. The pressure is not just all on you, because you're not alone in this.

And if you are struggling and looking for additional support, considering therapy or prenatal counseling can be helpful if anxiety feels overwhelming. I don't feel like there is enough awareness about how common this is, but there are defintely people to help. And if you are overwhelmed on where to start, please use me as a resource too. Even if I'm not local to you, I'm happy to navigate this with you so you can find the support you need.

I think that keeping worries to yourself instead of sharing them with a supportive network can cause isolation and make feelings of worry and stress even more overwhelming, so finding that support is important.

So to wrap up this episode, I always love reminding you that your body was designed to do this and you have a care team that is there to guide and support you every step of the way.

Remind yourself that your body knows how to grow and birth your baby. Lean on your midwife or care provider—ask questions and voice concerns. And don't forget to visualize a positive birth experience and affirm your strength daily.

Pregnancy is a time of transformation, and while some worry is natural, it doesn’t have to consume you. By setting information boundaries, focusing on what you can control, practicing mindfulness, building a support network, and trusting yourself and your care team, you can shift from fear to confidence.

If you enjoyed this episode, I would appreciate if you could take a few seconds to leave a review so more mom's can find this information! And I'd also love to invite you to join the next cohort of my 8-week virtual group coaching program where we will dive in to all your individual questions and ensure you are feeling well supported and prepared through whatever pregnancy prep and birth will bring. 

Thank you so much for being here, and I will be back next Tuesday with another episode!