Your Birth Bestie | The Pregnancy Podcast for an Informed and Natural Birth Experience
Beth Connors is a certified nurse midwife, birth doula, childbirth educator, and girl mom. Every week, Your Birth Bestie, shares practical pregnancy tips, personal birth stories, and dives deep into informed and empowering maternity care to help you have the best labor and delivery experience. Tune in for expert insights and trusted support through every stage of pregnancy, birth, and parenthood!
Get answers to all your pregnancy questions including:
What pregnancy and labor interventions are required?
What does a contraction feel like?
How do I know when I'm in labor?
What are early pregnancy symptoms and when should I take a pregnancy test?
What should I ask my doctor in my prenatal appointments?
What to include on a baby registry?
How do I make a birth plan?
How to survive the first trimester and treat morning sickness?
What is the best prenatal vitamin?
What's the difference between a doula and a midwife?
Do I have to test for gestational diabetes?
What is the best childbirth class to take?
AND MORE!!
Join Beth on instagram at @family.focused.midwifery
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Your Birth Bestie | The Pregnancy Podcast for an Informed and Natural Birth Experience
72. C-Section Preparation: Tips for a Positive Surgical Birth With Doula Lexi Zuo
In today’s episode, I talk with experienced doula, Lexi Zuo about how expecting moms and their partners can prepare for a C-section, whether planned or unexpected. Lexi shares her knowledge, from calming fears to ensuring a positive, individualized experience!
We will discuss:
- Common fears about C-sections and ways to address them…
- Essential education to feel prepared and in control…
- How partners can support and stay involved during surgery…
- Tips for creating a flexible birth plan that includes C-section contingencies…
- Key support strategies for post-surgery bonding and recovery…
- … and so much more!
Join us as we break down how to embrace your unique birth journey with confidence and care!
✨ Connect With Lexi
Happy High-Risk Pregnancy Podcast
Celebratory C-Section Online Course
Website - www.lexizuo.com
🌸 Connect with Beth
Website - www.familyfocusedmidwifery.com
Instagram - @family.focused.midwifery
Pinterest - bethconnors_cnm
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👋 WHO AM I?
Welcome, friends! I am Beth, a certified nurse midwife, doula, and childbirth educator. My philosophy is rooted in autonomy, informed decision making, and positive mindset to help expecting parents plan for a beautiful, stress-free birth. I am here to provide value to YOU through tips and practical advice, either to guide you through pregnancy or to help you prepare for childbirth, postpartum and beyond. There’s no fluff here - only info that adds to your positive experience and saves you stress and uncertainty.
Welcome back to episode 72 of Your Birth Bestie podcast. I am so excited to share this interview with Lexi Zuo, an experienced birth doula who supports high risk pregnancies. We are talking all about C section preparation, whether you're planning for a C section or you just want to feel prepared for that unexpected situation.
Lexi helps guide us through the essentials and reframes C sections to be a positive experience with the right support. preparation and birth team. We will cover everything from easing common fears and involving your partner to creating a flexible, supportive birth plan. So let's jump right in and get ready to approach your unique birth journey with confidence, peace and positivity.
Hey there. I'm Beth Connors, a midwife and mom of two, but also your birth bestie. In this podcast, we'll dive deep into everything you need to feel confident, prepared, and in control from baby bump to delivery room, from practical tips to personal stories. We'll cover it all, so you know exactly what to expect every step of the way.
Let's get into it. Hi, I'm Lexi Zuo. I'm a birth doula, childbirth educator, and lactation counselor serving families in the greater Chicagoland area. I'm also a mom of five kiddos and have experienced four high risk pregnancies myself. So, within my doula practice, I tend to specialize in supporting families that are in need.
are experiencing a high risk pregnancy and know or desire to have a higher intervention birth. That's kind of my area of expertise and what I really love supporting families and helping them have a positive experience with. So yeah, thanks for having me on, Beth. Yes, thank you. I love that you are a high risk doula and that I mean, I don't love that you had that experience, but hopefully, you know, it has kind of shaped your own practice.
Um, and you know, so many families are benefiting from that. And that's just amazing because there's so many people that need that support and they don't know where to find it. So it is amazing. So amazing that you do that. Um, as far as, so today I wanted to talk about c sections in general and how to have a positive c section experience, which I know you have so much information about.
Um, what is your experience, whether that's professionally or personally, about c sections specifically? Yeah, so I was personally thrust into that high pregnancy world unexpectedly. Um, I grew up in a fairly like, crunchy, naturally birthing world. My mom had all of her kids at birth centers with midwives. I grew up like attending births from a very young age.
Um, but then during my own first pregnancy I was actually living in Africa, an East African country called Uganda. And I was in a pretty rural, remote area, and my water broke at 33 weeks. Oh my goodness. Suddenly. So, uh, we drove through the middle of the night, uh, four hours to the only hospital that could deliver a preemie at that stage, which really isn't even super early, right, by American standards.
Um, but I never went into labor, and two days later I had a c section. So it was not, uh, urgent or like, you know, what people imagine often as like a medical emergency type c section, but it was definitely needed and decided upon by my team. But that was a whole new thing. World and experience for me coming from basically only knowing midwives and birth centers and like unmedicated, uh, birth.
So, um, yeah, I've had one, that was my first, uh, birth experience, a C section in Africa. Then when we moved back to America, I went on to have two VBACs and then for my youngest, uh, birth, I chose to have a planned C section. So I've personally had two, both of them were. Wonderful, not traumatic experiences, so I try to be a big voice in the public sphere for that.
C sections do not have to be inherently traumatic, and we'll talk more about that today. And in my practice, I definitely am not, at all like ever pushing or encouraging people to have c sections. That's not my goal, but my goal is always to be a neutral support and a positive support for families that, um, that becomes a necessary or desired way to birth their baby.
So within my doula practice specialing in specializing in high risk pregnancies. My c section rate is probably around 10%, and I've supported, um, about 120 births so far in full time private practice as a doula. So I've supported about 10 to 15 c sections in my practice. My number one goal is to always think about how can we make this still the best day of your life, and still a positive, trauma free experience, as much as that's possible.
in our control. Sometimes it's not, but a lot of times it is, and that surprises people. Yeah, there's so much that we can do in unexpected situations, whether that's, you know, I talk a lot about induction, whether that's elective or planned, like people are so afraid of certain things because they hear the worst stories from friends or family that are probably just trying to help.
Of course, they're well intentioned, usually, um, but it does freak a lot of moms out and knowing that they have control in certain situations. in a setting, you know, a lot of people are nervous in the hospital setting. They're nervous about major surgery. How can we make this something that you're in control of and something that can be positive because you're meeting your baby and you've been waiting months and months and months to meet your baby or years.
However, your experience was, um, to get pregnant, but yeah, having it be the best experience, um, is always the goal. Um, so I'm curious to, um, As you support moms, or maybe even as you maybe planned for your second one, what were some of the most common fears around C sections, um, that you kind of see most often?
Yeah, that's a great question. I think the most common fears for most people is, like you shared, just the unknowns of having surgery. For some people, the first time in their life. And then you tack on, typically nowadays, the way C sections are done with spinal, you're awake while surgery is being done on your body.
So, I think most, Mom's most families. They're really nervous about will I feel pain? What will this feel like? Sensation wise, they're really nervous and anxious about that being a wake factor. You know, will they be able to? Be calm and with it enough to like comply and not move. There's just a lot of nerves about like, what is this going to be like while they're cutting into my body while I'm awake?
And then, um, you know, of course, will their baby be okay? Will there be complications or things for their baby? And then especially the recovery after. I think, this is just my opinion, having to have personally having gone through two C sections and two vaginal births. I think that c section recovery is wrongly villainized often on the online and social media space.
It is Uh, I, I think it is often much harder actually to recover from severe vaginal tears than a C section. And that's not talked about often. But, um, I've personally dealt with that. And I remember with my first VBAC having like a third degree tear being like, I thought people said this was gonna be better than the C section.
And this is not better. Like nobody told me about this. So. C section recovery, again, does not have to be terrible. It's all about, you know, the preparation and your understanding going into it. So, yeah, it's a, it's a lot to process and to prepare for emotionally, for sure, for most parents. Yeah. Yeah. That's so interesting because I don't ever hear that perspective as often as, you know, like you said, is that C section recovery can be great.
And you hear these moms that have, you know, multiple C sections and, you know, If you had a negative experience, you're like, why would you elect for another c section? Um, if it, you know, was this person's worst experience of their life, where somebody else might have been like, it was a walk in the park. Um, so everybody's pregnancy is different.
Everybody's situation is different. Emergent versus not emergent. Or if you were in labor for four days before you had a c section versus it was a planned situation. Like there's so many different things that go into it. And then having somebody like, like you, um, Kadula, to be able to kind of navigate their own specific situation, I think, is just so helpful, um, for when that became, you know, part of the plan is to have a c section, um, unexpectedly or even planned.
So, yeah, that's very interesting and I'm glad you shared that. Yeah, I mean, you bring up a really good point when we're talking It's, it's very tricky to compare just C sections in general when, like you shared, if you take two situations, like a mom that maybe has a breech or transverse baby, and they're planning a C section where they're going to go in well rested, they know everything that's going to go down, versus someone that had a more emergency section, and maybe they were induced and in labor for three days, and then they pushed for four hours, And then they decide down the C section, those are like comparing apples to oranges, like, it's two totally different experiences, and it's, uh, not very helpful to just kind of lump them together, like, it really is a totally different experience.
And it totally depends, too, on your preparation. I'm curious, were you I'm guessing you were not prepared at all for your first C section being 33 weeks in a different country. Um, so that wasn't something that you had prepared for, but you said you still had a positive experience, whether that was the support that you got or just in general, um, how things went.
So I think too, if you aren't necessarily prepared or if it's not planned, it doesn't mean that it still has to be negative either. Cause I've seen many emergent situations. urgent situations too, where as long as there's informed choice and you know what's going on, you can feel calm about everything, you can still have a great outcome and a great experience.
Um, and I think people don't know that that's possible. So, um, as far as that physical and emotional preparedness for any kind of C section, is there anything that you would recommend in terms of preparation for a C section? Yeah. Um, so, um, I think, I talk about this a lot on, uh, my podcast, Happy High Risk Pregnancy, um, I think the number one factor that I always try and drill home all the time is the, um, the empowerment that comes from education ahead of time.
So especially when we're talking about a C section, knowing ahead of time what is actually involved, uh, like, for example, the most common, Myth that I still have to bring up every single prenatal with clients is when you have a c section they do not take all the organs out of your body and set them on the table next to you.
I, I can't even tell you how many times I have to say No, that does not happen. They make their incisions through the different layers of your abdomen to reach your uterus. They scoot your bladder to the side and nothing comes out of your body besides, you know, some of the blood that they're suctioning, the baby and the placenta.
Like everything else is kept inside typically. And that blows people's minds. They're like, nobody ever told me that. That's not what my friends say or whatever. Like, wow. That's one of the kind of in a funny way. That's one of the myths I often have to debunk. But I really love there's this YouTube video that this surgeon mom put together of like a Play Doh C section.
Yeah, it's so fun. She She's trying to like teach her son about surgery and how it is and she made this play doh model of a c section and then at the end he delivers his little Spider Man stuffy and that, um, I share that video, maybe you can put that in the show notes, often with parents, this is a non threatening play non bloody, nothing gory way that you can learn practically what is going to happen to your body, what are they going to do during a c section procedure, um, and that can help take away just some of those fears and unknowns.
And then the second thing I always kind of dangle as a carrot for reward with clients is, okay, when you're having a c section, If it's planned, especially, you only have to deal with two needles, one for your IV, one for your spinal, so just think about it like that, like two needles that I have to get through if they're scared of needles, obviously that might look different if they're, they had planned a vaginal birth, but then I say once you get into the OR, Typically, your baby is in your arms within 10 minutes of it starting.
Most C sections take 30 to 45 minutes to complete, depending on the clothing. The majority of a C section is not actually getting the baby out. It's repairing and putting everything back together in a very slow and methodical way. Making sure that you're not bleeding too much, all of that. So I encourage families with knowing, hey, you know, even though you might be really nervous and afraid about being in the OR or having surgery done on your body while you're likely awake, you're going to get your sweet reward.
You're going to get your baby, uh, typically right up next to you pretty soon after it starts. So just look forward to that. And then you have a nice Sweet distraction the rest of the time. Well, yeah, I think another thing that, um, this might be like a controversial tip that you could do in preparation with your provider, obviously, like, know yourself know how you would react in this situation, but you could, you know, Ask your provider, potentially, to tell you early, if you're, if you're planning a vaginal birth and that is what you're working towards and working on and you do go into labor, you could ask your provider to tell you earlier rather than later if they are thinking a c section may be necessary.
Now some people, if their provider tells them that, they see that as a threat, they see that as like, oh, you don't believe in my ability, and maybe for you that would like, send you into a. Tailspin of like, upsetness and mental breakdown. But for a lot of people, I think one of the, the things that makes c sections that are unexpected traumatic for them is that oftentimes they are not told that it's even on, you know, the, on the table.
until it's pretty late into the game, which I've learned now, and I'm sure you've seen this as a midwife, um, I've learned now as a doula, we know like there are often like hours and hours of signs like, uh, we're like concerned, this is maybe like trending south, but sadly often I think parents are not informed about that, and again it could go either way depending on how your personality is, but I think it You know, people often talk about, like, so many parents talk about, oh, I needed an emergency c section, and I needed this, I needed to be rushed to the O.
R., but a lot of times, It's not really an emergency section. It's that you weren't told until the last 30 minutes that they were really concerned, which maybe if you had been told four hours earlier, you would have had the ability to try some different labor positions, really focusing on your breathing, making sure that baby is getting good oxygen, do an exercise, And that knowing that it's on the table and then being able to pivot, make some different changes yourself and then maybe still a little bit later still choosing to have a c section, I think that going through that mental process can go a long way in reducing trauma in the moment.
reducing any, uh, regret or questioning afterwards of did I do everything possible? And it puts the power back into your hands as the parents of, hey, we were able to ask questions. We were able to process our options. We were able to go through all of this in a really calm way as much as we could before actually going into the OR.
So I think Again, assess yourself, assess your personality, if that would be helpful for you or not, but in my experience with my clients, that is one of the best things that can be put back into their control early on, if a c section is something that the medical team is thinking might be necessary. Yeah, and I think that's, yeah, no, that's great, even from a provider aspect too, like, asking and knowing our clients, um, whether you're a doula or a midwife or a doctor, whoever, labor and delivery nurse, like what does your patient in front of you want?
What is their personality? Um, in terms of, yeah, how, how they would respond in that situation. Some people want to have, you know, keep the faith until the last possible second. And they're like, I don't want to know if it's on the table. I want to, you know, You know, keep the vaginal delivery. That's my goal, um, for as long as possible, and I'm just going to hope that it happens, um, which is great if they want to keep that mindset because you don't also want to be disappointed for hours and hours, um, if that's your personality, but some people might need that couple hours to prepare their mind for the next step.
the surgery, um, prepare them for meeting their baby in a way that they maybe hadn't expected, and kind of visualizing what that looks like, um, because it does look different, but once you can really come to terms with it, which really doesn't take very long, I've noticed with families, like, it doesn't take long once the decision is made, but if you are kind of rushed into thinking that You know, usually, you know, usually it's 30 minutes, um, if it's an urgent or, you know, obviously immediate if it's an emergency, but not having the time to ask the questions, um, because once it's called as an urgent, uh, C section, usually things are already started, nurses are helping and getting things all planned, and you're just trying to come to terms with what's happening that you don't really even think to ask questions, which is totally valid, um, so giving families some time to have it be their decision Ultimately, and ask the questions, give them the time that they need and then move forward.
So I think that's a great perspective to have as the patient to, you know, to, to tell your provider, but also like from a provider standpoint or a doula standpoint, like that's a question we should be asking too, is like in this situation, how would you feel, um, as far as, so we talked about the moms a little bit.
I know the partners, um, are also involved and they have like a different perspective. Is there a way that you help? partners be involved during C sections or help them prepare as well with their partners? Yeah. I think, uh, for partners, the most important thing is knowing, um, I mean, unless something is like a true, true, true emergency, uh, stat C section, which those are actually really rare.
A lot of people don't realize that that's pretty rare. We have kind of planned and then like the language that you've been using urgent or kind of slowly decided upon in labor when things are trending downwards. And then we have like true emergency, like we have to get the baby out in less than five minutes, you know, that, those types of, but those are pretty rare.
And so the other two situations is really what is most important to focus your preparation on. And with that, knowing you have a lot of options still, you can, uh, depending on the hospital, sometimes you can request to have the ambient lighting in the OR lowered. You can ask for, um, you know, soft talking and kind of like a relaxed, like, or minimized talking mood, or you can ask for more talking and kind of like a celebratory mood if you're feeling really weak and nervous and you're like, we need others to pump us up in this situation.
You can typically still bring in your labor playlist like played on your phone or where I live in Chicagoland. Most of the ORs are Bluetooth wired, so you could even connect your phone to the OR speakers a lot of times and you could still play like a hypnobirthing track or, you know, uh, An energetic playlist or something that's really calming for you, whatever you feel like would be most helpful for your unique family.
You could also, um, typically partners are given scrubs to come into the O. R. as long as the, uh, the woman is not being put to sleep. Typically, they're always allowed into the O. R. with them. them to support them. They typically sit at the head of the OR table next to the anesthesiologist and just sitting there rubbing your partner's head, holding their hand, telling them like, yeah, you're doing such a good job.
We're going to meet our baby soon. Just that gentle, like steady encouragement. Now, I know from experience, uh, both supporting dads and supporting births myself, sometimes it's hard. It's hard to be that strong, comforting presence in what can feel like a very scary situation. So if you are feeling really scared or overwhelmed yourself as the partner by what is going on, some things that you could do to just calm yourself and be more present in the moment so that you can be strong for your partner having this experience.
Section done on them. Is, you know, you can wiggle your toes in your shoes, you can focus on taking some deep breaths, you can focus on, um, looking around you in the OR or in your room as you're preparing to go back and think about four things that you see in the room. Just some of those quick tricks that you can use, calm down your own nervous system so that you can be a strong, calm presence.
And sometimes it's okay too to have a little breakdown. A lot of times the mom will go into the O. R. first to get her spinal done if she hasn't had that done yet or to get just get situated and they'll have the dad or the partner wait outside the O. R. room and then bring them in after. It's okay to have a few minutes of crying or you know needing to collect yourself and deep breathe if you're feeling really nervous.
Like there's no shame in that but Partners provide invaluable support for C sections as well. And typically, they're the ones in an OR setting, uh, that get to hold the baby first, which is sweet in that sense. They get to walk over to the warmer a lot of times with the baby, take some pictures, and then come back and hold the baby up next to the mom.
Or, um, you know, just hold them till the mom feels more stable and recovering and ready to hold the baby themselves. So it does not, it, it does not have to be all like lose lose. There are a lot of control, a lot of options that you can still have, and a lot of ways that partners are really powerful and still helping this be a positive experience for their loved one.
So. Yeah. There's a lot of like similarities to between like, if you're planning a vaginal delivery and then you have a C section, like there's a lot of similar ways that partners can support. like the mom, um, which I don't think is always realized because they think, well, my, my partner's going into surgery and they just don't know how to help support.
Cause they think it's this sterile environment that's like really scary or whatever, you know, they come into it knowing about hospitals, but it actually can be like, you know, like you said, an energetic and fun experience. It's a different kind of surgery. The mom's awake, um, meeting your baby for the first time.
So there's a lot of things that can be exciting and kind of look forward to, like we said, the experience of a C section can be positive. Um, letting them know that they are a huge part of the birth and that they are still supportive to mom and they can hold baby right away. All good things to look forward to as you're kind of going back into an unknown situation of surgery.
For the birth plan, do you go through the potential of a c section with all of your doula clients just so they are informed before, um, labor and delivery or how do you kind of, um, include that in your preparation? So I definitely, uh, I, I do probably more than most schools because I'm a childbirth educator too.
I do three, two to three hour prenatal visits with all of my clients, plus they get 10 hours of childbirth education working with me and those are all like pre recorded. And I do, in my practice, I require that my clients write a birth plan. I leave it at up to them if they want to include like a c section birth plan too.
Um, but I do tell them, hey, just because you make your wishes known does not mean that it's going to happen, but it can be really helpful if a c section is necessary or it becomes needed to be planned ahead of time for your team to know, hey, how can we still make this the best day of your life? How can we still try to give you a really positive experience?
Um, one thing that I think, I'm a, I'm a big fan of, like, supporting the labor and delivery nurses and the providers in L& D. Uh, there's some not great ones sometimes, but by and large, I always say, hey, nobody gets into this work because they want to make this, like, the worst day of your life. And all of the C sections that I've supported, I've been really impressed with how sensitive and kind and compassionate.
Most of the medical staff are and how they still, they really want to make this a good experience for you. So bringing that back to birth plans, I think it can be really helpful if you have a c section Uh, plan ahead of time of saying, Hey, these are the most important things that are, that we really want to have happen.
You know, maybe we really want the drape to be lowered when the baby is delivered and we want dad to announce the gender or something like that. Or, oh, we still really want to do delayed cord clamping, but we don't want the drape lower because we're scared of seeing. You know, blood, please hold our baby over the curtain, you know, those sort of things, just making your wishes known, and even some of my clients will put in their c section birth plan, they'll put a little note at the top saying, hey, I've never had surgery before, I'm really, really, uh, Anxious.
Can you please make sure to take everything step by step with me and walk me through it? Just putting some of those little sweet personal notes can go a long way of helping your care team Know, okay. This is a person, you know, we do this every day We cc sections all the time, but this is a person that ever experienced this before So, how can we meet them where they're at and help them still have a really positive experience?
So, um, my last birth, even though I have five kids, my oldest is adopted, and I've had four, uh, births, my last birth, I still, it was a planned C section, and I still took a C section birth plan in, and I, I felt really loved and really supported by how seriously my care team really That every single nurse that came into my room that morning before going to the O.
R. Reviewed it. The anesthesiologist reviewed it. My O. B. Reviewed it. And everyone took that really seriously because they did want me to have a great experience. So Yeah, I highly recommend it. Yeah. And I think on our part too, or, or I guess the part of the, the patient is you can be as like engaged in the surgery and your experience as you want to be.
Um, sometimes I feel like it does become monotonous on the provider side, if they're doing, you know, back to back C sections all day long and they're all planned or whatever, they have a certain day where they plan out their C sections, um, that unfortunately can probably get, um, to the point where they're just, you know, Going through the steps, but helping them remember to that, like, this is your baby.
This is how you're meeting your baby for the first time and, um, asking questions or just saying, you know, yeah, like you said, I'm a little bit nervous about this. Can you just walk me through it? And like my experience, Being part of C sections, they're always willing to educate moms, you know, about everything that's going on and we'll, we'll talk through everything and, you know, chat with you if you want to be chatted to, um, while you're on the table or whoever, um, so I think that is, um, a piece that people don't think of during surgery because normally you would be sleeping, but you can be engaged and part of your delivery.
And I know there's some like natural, um, what do they call them? Like more gentle C sections where you're actually able to, you know, help pull your baby out. So I don't know how common that is either in hospitals. I know around Here, um, I haven't seen it personally done, but that's a cool thing, too, that if you wanted to be part of, um, the experience a little bit more, some people I'm sure are totally against it, which I understand as well, but having that option and kind of knowing how involved you are allowed to be or want to be and, um, talking to your provider ahead of time, I think, would be great.
Yeah, like you said, we'll make it the best experience possible for each individual person. So. For people that are curious, what you reference is called Maternal Assisted Caesarean, M A C E S. Okay. They aren't, uh, the first OB that started them, that was in Australia, I don't remember her name. But I, I know that they've done like a couple in America, but, uh, that would be cool if those continued to grow.
Uh, but yeah, those are called Maternal Assisted Caesareans. A Gentle C Section or a Family Caesarean is a family centered cesarean, it's just more of like, really making it a family focused experience. Um, but yeah, who knows, if you're listening to this and you see videos of maternal assisted cesareans and you're like, hey, I talked to my doctor about this, like, go ahead, like, try, like, yeah, that would be amazing if we could have more of those here in America.
Yeah, I'm, I'm in the suburbs of a major metropolitan area and I don't know of any hospital that offers that near me, but I would love to see that. I think that would be awesome. Yeah. To do it in a safe way that, you know, I've seen them, like, you know, the videos where they're like putting on the sterile equipment on mom, you know, while she's laying there and then she's able to pull her baby right to her chest.
And I think that's just so cool. Like if it's not an emergency situation, you know, I guess why not? I don't know enough about it, but, um, It seems like a cool thing. Yeah, the people, uh, in most of the videos that I've seen, this is kind of funny, the people, the, the first people that really started to do it were, like, obese themselves.
Uh, they were like, hey, I think if I got gowned up and I, like, was sterile that I could, like, do this myself. Um, so it's a, it's a unique population and, and no shame if you, you hear us talking about this and you're like, I would never want to do that. That was, that was me in my last c section. I had all in my plan.
I was like, yes, I want the drape lower. I want to see the baby coming out. And then I got into the OR and I was like, I changed my mind. I changed my mind. Do not lower the drape. They were like, are you sure? And I was like, yeah, no, this would be too much. So that's totally fine. Like you can take it on a moment by moment or like decision by decision stuff.
Nothing that you say or plan for is like assigned in blood. Rarely, you can always change. Always can change your mind. It's cool that we have options, that it's going more that way. So I wanted to share one more tip for a doula supporting c sections or supporting bursts that turn into c sections. It's one of the things that has, been really helpful for me to understand in my own biases and my own thinking about birth, is that a c section is not a failed birth.
It doesn't mean that you failed as the doula, it doesn't mean that the family failed, and like I shared before, c sections do not have to be inherently traumatic. Sometimes I have been really surprised in my own practice How, you know, one client that planned an unmedicated vaginal birth and they got that versus another client that plans an unmedicated vaginal birth and ended up getting a c section and ending, or getting an epidural and ending in a c section.
Sometimes the mom that still had the unmedicated birth can feel very traumatized and just wrecked by her birth experience versus the mom. that had a c section, had an epidural, maybe feels like, oh yeah, plans changed, but that was still a really great experience. So we do need to be careful as doulas and birth workers to keep an open mind with what our clients are actually experiencing and how they feel about their birth experience after.
It's not for us to like rank the experiences for them and decide, oh this was good, better, best, you know. Um, that's something that I just come back to time and time again in my doula practice, and It's really helpful for us birth workers to always keep in mind. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of Your Birth Bestie Podcast.
I hope you found this conversation with Lexi helpful as we explored ways to approach a C section with confidence. I think that preparing for every possibility can really make a big difference in your birth experience and encourage you to seek additional information, and And learn the options that you have in each birth setting.
If you enjoyed this episode, I would love if you could take a moment to rate and review the podcast. It helps us reach more parents just like you. Thank you so much for listening. And I hope you continue to feel empowered on your journey and I will see you again next Tuesday. Bye everyone.